Sergio Leone Web Board

General Information => Trivia Games => Topic started by: Marco Leone on July 01, 2005, 04:42:43 PM



Title: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on July 01, 2005, 04:42:43 PM
New section added to my site ( http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/spaghettiwesterns ).  Click on the "FUN" link.

Impress your friends by telling them you have discovered some rare and hard to find Euro-Western.   But really, you have just used my Spaghetti Western generator to make up some movie that never really existed.

Mock as they spend ages trawling IMDB, and embarrasing themselves by asking for details of it on the Spaghetti Western Web Board.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 09, 2005, 11:02:27 AM
Reminds me of a song my old band used to have "I invented some fake bands to name drop in front of you, so when you couldn't find out anything about them I could claim I was more "scene" than you"


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Juan Miranda on July 09, 2005, 06:36:54 PM
A friend of mine came up with a concept for a series of classic Spaghetti Westerns a few years ago, which we have since expanded on down the pub.

The first film was RIDE, BASTARD, RIDE! to be followed up with the inevitable BASTARD RETURNS, MY NAME IS BASTARD, BASTARD'S GOLD etc, ending with THE SON OF BASTARD VS JESSIE JAMES, naturally. All directed by John Santi, with different tempremental English thesps such as Aubrey Morris and Freddie Jones in the Bastard role.

In the DVD age we can now look forward to THE COMPLETE BASTARD box set.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 10, 2005, 03:06:53 PM
The film is: "A Place Called Timothy", directed by Giulio Questi in 1966.  It stars Lou Castel, Cris Huerta, and Tomas Milian.

Another one: Tomas Valerii's "The Brides Without Sandoval" (1970), with Franco Nero, Lawrence Dobkin, and Giovanni Cianfriglia.

One more:  ;D "Day Pray For Blood" (1971), another forgotten effort by Giulio Questi, with Paco Sanz, Antonio Casas, and Ennio Girolami.

I had a similar game where you had to come up with the title, the name of your protagonist, his weapon of choice, etc.  I didn't have it on the 'Net, but I had it written down somewhere a while ago. 


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on July 10, 2005, 04:20:22 PM
Groggy, lets face it...... we would watch every one of those films that you have created!  :)


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: grandpa_chum on July 10, 2005, 09:07:00 PM
this is fun, so much I did it 3 times... I got...

Guillo Petroni's "A Bullet For The Dead(1970)" starring fernando rey, robert hossein, and rik battaglia

and

Gianfranco Parolini's "Seven Hours Of Fists(1971) starring claudia cardinale, Chin Chin, and Livio Lorenzon

and

Robert Parrish's "Dynamite Joe Shoots Dynamite Jim(1972) starring bud spencer, marc mazza, and Tomas blanco

that second one sounds more like 70's porn but hey.



Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 11, 2005, 05:23:06 AM
that second one sounds more like 70's porn but hey.

How about Luigi Bazzoni's "Django rides Sabata" for some Spaghetti slash fiction?


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 11, 2005, 05:29:09 AM
Of course, by the 70s there were serious attempts to tone down the violence in Spaghetti Westerns, hence we have

Sergio Bergonzelli's "Duel without Death"

and

Ettore Fizarotti's "Django kills Nobody"


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on July 11, 2005, 02:04:09 PM
How about Luigi Bazzoni's "Django rides Sabata" for some Spaghetti slash fiction?

Now that puts an image into my head that I never needed to see!!!  ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 11, 2005, 04:26:59 PM
Here are a few more:
 
Tomas Valerii's (is he the same as Tonino, or are they different people?) "The Big Shoots His Gold Pistol" (1964), with Glen Saxson, Frank Wolff, and John Phillip Law (talk about an all-star cast!).

1967 gave us Franco Giraldi's epic "A Fistful Kills The General", with Emil Feist, John Steiner, and Enrico Maria Salerno.

1969 gave us another classic: Luigi Bazzoni's "Halleluyah Rides Knuckles" (another slash pick, I guess), with Donald Pleasance, Rod Steiger, and Rada Rassimov.

And one more for the road:
A late, 1971 Spaghetti by Giullio Quest: "The Magnificent Brutes Without The MacGregors", which featured Herbert Fux, Maurizi Merli, and the invaluable Sergio Tardioli.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 11, 2005, 04:29:07 PM
And apparently our very own Sergio made one we didn't know about:  :o

"Cjamango The Seven" (1969)
Directed by Sergio Leone
Starring Brett Hasley, Terrence Hill, and Marco Mariani.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 11, 2005, 05:16:30 PM
An incisive Marxist analysis of American capitalism was at the heart of this lost Sergio Corbucci classic:

"A Few Dollars called The West" (1966), with Frank Wolff, Piero Lulli and Lorella de Luca.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 11, 2005, 05:49:47 PM
A few more before I go: ;)

"The Good Without Coyote" (Tomas Valerii, 1966), with Elsa Martinelli, Craig Hill, and Lynn Redgrave, about three Old West friends who realize they can't go on without the companionship of their pet coyote.

"Fort Yuma Kills The Condemned" (1966), another lost Sergio Leone Western, an action-packed semi-sequel to GBU, with Kevin McCarthy, Lorella De Luca, and Jose Manuel Martin.

"A Man Kills The Ruthless" (1965), Giulio Questi's gripping tale of revenge and bloodshed on the Tex-Mex border, with Leif Garrett, Charles Bronson, and Emma Cohne.

"The Forgotten Of The Dead" (1973), a strange later attempt to breathe new life into the Spaghetti Western subgenre by Sergio Corbucci, starring Igor Alimov and Brock Peters as zombies who try to remember who former partner Brett Halsey is, while being chased by a demented vampire hunter.

"Two R-R-Ringos Rides The Gunfighter" (1969), Duccio Tessari's haunting tale of a homosexual love triangle, featuring Telly Sevalas as the Gunfighter, and Nieves Navarro and Attilio Severini as the R-R-Ringos who love him.

And finally, "Django For Sacramento" (1973), Enzo Barboni's gripping installment of the Django franchise, which saw Django as a politician/gunfighter who opposes the moving of the California state capitol to San Diego.  Antonio De Teffe is Django, Gregg Palmer and George Hilton are two baddies.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on July 12, 2005, 01:14:46 PM
I'm glad my lil toy has provided some entertainment.  I'm wondering if any of these titles ever did see the light of day.  The same names and phrases were used so many times, its likely that they did!

Wouldn't mind setting my eyes on "The Forgotten of the Dead" Groggy.  A great SW horror crossover!


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 12, 2005, 04:19:53 PM
Here are some more:

"The Big And First" (1971) is a Ettore Fizarotti Western, featuring John Steiner is a guy with a small member (is this too vulgar for this board? :-X) who is upset that baddie Pablito Alonso - the "Big" - always gets the "first" pick of the girls.  With the help of surgeon Jose Calvo, he sets out to castrate "The Big".

"Savage Gun Vs. Dynamite Jim" (1973, Giullio Testi) - why is this great movie forgotten?  Alfredo Rizzo and Sprio Focas face off against each other for no reason other than to move the story along.  Emma Cohen is the woman forced to choose between them.

"Cemetery Called Two Twins" (1967, Massimo Dallamano) is about a pair of twin brothers, sons of an undertaker, who kill each other arguing over who gets the cemetery named after them.  Brett Hasley and Raf Baldassarre are the brothers; Lou Castel is the priest who figures out the perfect name for the cemetery.

"Magnificent Brutes Strikes White Fang" (1966, Florestano Vancini) stars Alberto dell'Acqua and Riccardo Pizzutti as two bounty hunters who hunt down a vicious wolf.  Marianne Koch also stars.

"Killer Kid Strikes The Gravedigger" (1967, Robert Parrish) is about the Killer Kid (Clint Eastwood), an Old West bounty hunter who is arrested for aggravated assault after he punches the man who was burying his latest victim.  Anthony Quinn is his defense attorney.  Also appearing is Graziella Granata.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 13, 2005, 06:37:34 AM
Here's a good title:
"Halleluyah Pray For Bullets" (1973, Florestano Vancini), with Rodolfo Valadier, Luis Barboo, and James Coburn.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Johny_Exhale on July 13, 2005, 09:23:42 AM
"Death Without Knuckles"

Directed by: Enzo Barboni
1968
Starring: Juan Cazalilla, Terry Jenkins  & Lorella De Luca


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 13, 2005, 10:54:01 AM
In Giulio Questi's 1969 film Bandits Pray for the Condemned Fernando Rey stars as a devoutly Catholic bandit leader who leads his muchachos in a depserate raid to break his nephew (played by Giuliano Gemma) out of jail. William Berger also features as a drug-crazed hippy.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 13, 2005, 12:30:20 PM
And then there's...

Gianfranco Parolini's A Gringo Kills Ringo (1968), about a shootout at a poetry contest.

Packed with witty one liners, the gunfight breaks out when the gringo tries to rhyme "pistol" with "fistful".


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 13, 2005, 12:39:51 PM
A Woman called Timothy (Giulio Petroni) 1968 - A vengeful female gunfighter hunts down the registrar of births who made a mistake no-one will ever forget!


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 14, 2005, 05:13:34 PM
Which is a better title for a Spaghetti Western, you think?

Ringo Shoots Them All;
Ringo Shoots Death;
Ringo Shoots The Rio Grande;
Ringo Shoots The Town;
or
Ringo Shoots The Ugly


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 19, 2005, 09:59:25 AM
Ringo Shoots Death;

A duel with the grim reaper would surely be astounding, although ultimately pointless.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 19, 2005, 10:08:19 AM
Day without bullets (Duccio Tessari, 1970) - Comedy set in a lawless frontier in which a shortage at the local gunshop forces the locals to find ingenious new ways of killing each other.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on July 20, 2005, 11:44:57 AM
A Train Kills A Horse - A short by Damiano Damiani. Reduced to seventeen seconds by censors in the UK.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Johny_Exhale on July 20, 2005, 03:17:05 PM
A Train Kills A Horse - A short by Damiano Damiani. Reduced to seventeen seconds by censors in the UK.

haha


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on September 04, 2005, 06:46:01 AM
Wow, I actually got a good title:  :o

The Stranger and The Pallbearer (1971), with Tomas Milian, Gianni Garko, and Marco Gugliemi, directed by Sergio Sollima.

"A Son Pray For The Hand of the Devil" (Sergio Leone, 1972), about Terrence Hill as an Old West gunfighter (Trinity-style) possessed by Satan, and Telly Savalas as an exorcist who tries to drive Satan out.  Claudia Cardinale screams a lot and wears low-cut dresses.  Lots of gunbattles and green vomit - what more could you ask from a movie?  ;D

Now, one more:

"A Bullet Strikes Bullets" (Albert Cardone, 1966), about a shootout in a gunsmith's store.  With Horst Frank, Elsa Martinelli, and Jose Manuel Martin.

I still like "The Forgotten of the Dead" and "The Big And First" best of all of mine.  And I also loved "Seven Hours of Fists" and "Django Kills Nobody", and also "A Train Kills A Horse".

Come on guys, let's see if we can get this thread going again.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: grandpa_chum on September 04, 2005, 01:41:13 PM
I got a couple more...

Sergio Sollima's The Great Vs His Golden Pistol(1969) starring Charles Bronson, Frank Wolff, and Gina Lollobrigida... my guess would be it's the story of a man and his magical golden pistol, he can't lose with it, but one day it gets a mind of it's own and starts to only fire when it feels like it... he is in a constant battle with THE MAGICAL GOLDEN PISTOL.

Damiano Damiani's Cemetary Of Death(1971) starring Mario Brega, Linda Sini, and Jack Palance... a spaghetti western where Brega plays an undertaker that is stealing from the dead and even killing townspeople just to get a hand on their belongings later on, but Jack Palance will put a stop to that... or it could just be another spaghetti where all the many shootouts take place in the same cemetary.

Enzo Barboni's The Christmas Kid Strikes The West(1972) starring Anthony Quinn, Leonard Mann, and Steffen Zacharias... simple enough... Quinn is the infamous Christmas Kid(maybe cause he's always wearing red, or even a santa hat, who knows, the campy possibilities are endless) and he strikes the west on some sort of killing rampage, maybe for revenge, maybe his family was all killed on christmas eve, by a man dressed up as santa claus, could be anything.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on September 04, 2005, 04:50:29 PM
LOL great shoutout to "Silent Night, Deadly Night", Gramps.  :P


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on September 05, 2005, 03:07:24 PM
Great stuff guys.  Glad to see its still providing some entertainment  ;D  When I get a chance, I think I'll add a few more movie possibilities into there to freshen it all up a little.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: grandpa_chum on September 06, 2005, 09:05:52 AM
LOL great shoutout to "Silent Night, Deadly Night", Gramps.  :P

haha... the funny thing is it was unintentional... I've actually never seen it, but now I must!


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on September 09, 2005, 03:05:00 PM
A Man Kills Softly - Alberto Cardone, 1970. Soundtrack by the Fugees.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: grandpa_chum on September 10, 2005, 08:57:04 AM
Sergio Sollima's The Unholy And The Hand Of The Devil(1972) starring Jack palance, Gregg Palmer, and Tomas Blanco... All I know is that Palance stars as a mean son of a bitch who's quicker than any mear mortal and his right hand, his shooting hand, is burnt to a crisp, possibly always wearing a glove over it... is he the devil incarnate? who knows?


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: redyred on September 10, 2005, 03:10:24 PM
Seven hours for One Silver Dollar, Luigi Bazzoni, 1970. Starring Dan van Husen, Elsa Martinelli and Walter Rilla. No comment.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on September 10, 2005, 04:34:24 PM
Well, with Martinelli in it, I'd watch it  :P


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on September 25, 2005, 10:06:47 AM
I've added another set of variants to the Spaghetti Western Generator at the "Fun" section of http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/spaghettiwesterns .

 ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on September 26, 2005, 05:12:14 PM
I got a good one earlier . . . "A Woman Vs. Dynamite" (1964), by Lucio Fulci, with Linda Sini (guess she's the woman), Guido Collobrigida, and Dominique Dare.  I also got one with two Mark Damon's though.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: grandpa_chum on October 03, 2005, 06:21:29 AM
with news of new variants i had to try it at least a couple times...

Lucio Fulci's Halleluyah for Bullets(1969) Starring Jason Robards, Joseph Egger, and Elsa Martinelli... bullet filled story with Jason Robards as a vengeful priest out to kill sinners, with Joseph Egger reprising his undertaker role from FOD.

Carlo Lizzani's A Bastard Kills The Golden Sherriff(1972) Starring Sergio Tardioli, Norma Bengell, and Gerard Herter... who knows


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: HEX on October 03, 2005, 07:59:47 PM
"THE GRAND JACKASS"
no...
no good as a title?


oh wait.... as in homage to all those wonderfully weird titles for spags like "IAM SARTANA, TRADE YOURE PISTOL FOR A COFFIN". and "BETWEEN GOD THE DEVIL AND WINCHESTER".


how about a title like

"ITS MIDNIGHT IN MONTANA AND I CANT GET MY PRICK OUT OF THIS COW!"
;D (compliments to GEORGE CARLIN. ;))


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Franks Harmonica on October 11, 2005, 10:57:47 PM
Adios Amigo, The Return Of Kane.(1967)
d Duccio Tessari
Starring Guliano Gemma as Kane, The former Civil War Union officer with blood on his hands and a hatred for the former Confederacy who burned and killed his family. He still wears his tattered uniform and strikes with brute force leaving his bloody K wherever he goes. also starring Anthony Steffen as an ex-Confederate officer who is now a blacksmith and is his equal match.

The Day of Blood and Coffins.(1968)
d  Antonio Margeretti
Starring Gianni Garko as the leader of the outlaws who were to slaughter the 8 priests on that fateful day of December 10. 1873 that would later be known as The Day of Blood and Coffins.
Also starring Robert Woods and Sean Todd.

Johnny Omelet and the Scrambled West.(1969)
d Mark Bavaro
A man wakes up in the desert without a memory of who he is, where he is, or why there are 4 dead horses and 2 dead pigs laying beside him. Starring Klaus Kinski as Johnny the man with the scrambled brain and Richard Harrison as his ex mate who smashes a frying pan over Johnny's head.

The Whore and The Beast (1971)
d Fernando Di Leo
Starring Lon Chaney Jr. as the hunchback owner of a Brothel in the middle of the desert and his sister Ethel (Barbara Bouchet) who is the beautiful but deadly whore, who crushes men with her thighs, then gouges out their eyes.
They dump their bodies in the old dried out well and sell the horses to outer towns.

Father Shambo and the Bloody Son (1973)
d Lucio Fulci
Jason Robards returns as the Vengeful Priest Shambo who returns from the dead on the December 10th, The Day of Blood!
To continue his killing spree in the land of sinners, Shambo recruits a Navajo Boy whose father was killed during the March of Tears from New Mexico to Arizona.
Using poisonous fry bread as their weapon to wipe out all sinners Shambo and the boy kill over 423 men and 2 women on their bloody rampage!
Starring Joseph Eggar as the Undertaker and also starring Yul Brynner in 4 roles including the Navajo boy's father and the colonel who leads the march of tears, also plays the two women roles, wearing a blonde wig and playing Rose, also -wearing dark pigtails as a crying Navajo woman!



Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: boardwalk_angel on October 17, 2005, 09:55:36 PM
Tall Women Of Danger Pass (1968)
Directed by Ettore Fizarotti
Starring Fernando Sancho..Lorella De Luca ..Lucretia Love

On the Third Day Pray For The Stupid (1966)
Directed by Nando Cicero
Starring Ivano Staccioli ..Bud Spencer ..Lionel Stander


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: boardwalk_angel on October 21, 2005, 10:03:21 PM
The Taste Of A Horse (1968)

Directed by Tomas Valerii
Starring Alberto Dell'Acqua
Roberto Camardiel
Alberto de Mendoza

The story of some really hungry (or really lonely) weird guys in a grubby little town.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on October 24, 2005, 04:51:46 AM
Sounds like a quality film Angel :D but I'm not sure how they could draw a film out for 90 minutes hehe.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Amaze on October 29, 2005, 05:22:20 PM
The Unholy Pray For The Hand of the Devil(1971)
directed by Maurizio Lucudi
starring Sonja Jeannine
Donald Pleasence
Milo Quesada




Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: boardwalk_angel on December 01, 2005, 09:03:31 AM
The Unholy Pray For The Hand of the Devil(1971)
directed by Maurizio Lucudi
starring Sonja Jeannine
Donald Pleasence
Milo Quesada




Wow...I wanna see this!!!!!!!!
translates into Il Non Santi Pregano Per La Mano Del Diavolo :o


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Amaze on December 01, 2005, 09:20:33 AM
hehe, yea I wouldn't mind seeing it as well


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: grandpa_chum on December 06, 2005, 10:21:35 PM
my latest was maybe my favorite title...

Damiano Damiani's God Help Us Without A Crow(1966) starring Telly Savalas, Gianna Garko, and Graziella Granata


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: boardwalk_angel on December 08, 2005, 08:58:00 PM
Django Meets Django (1971)
Directed by Massimo Pupillo

Starring:
Franco Nero as Django
Gianni Garko as Django
Antonio De Teffè as Django
Featuring:
Richard Harrison as Django
George Hilton as Django
Terence Hill as Django
Loredana Nusciak

Well..it was bound to happen sooner or later. Six guys ride into town on a particular day...all dressed in black..5 of them are bounty hunters...the other one pulls this weird coffin around..nobody knows what he's all about...& they're all named Django...and there are already 4 other guys in town also named Django.
Very confusing film. Only released in Latvia in 1971 & Lithuania in '74.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on December 09, 2005, 03:15:50 PM
Hahaha, those lucky Latvians.  I WANT this movie!!  Its the spaghetti western equivalent of all the Dr Who's somehow being in the same movie (which I used to love as a nipper!).  Oh, if only........


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Leone Admirer on December 10, 2005, 07:45:44 AM
How about this one?

A Pistol Strikes The Bounty Hunter (68)

Directed by Massimo Pupillo

Starring:

Claudia Cardinale
Panos Papadopulos
Donald Pleasence


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on December 13, 2005, 05:06:50 PM
Well, this post title by Banjo seems like it would make an interesting film:

"Grand Duel on Christmas Day"

Santa Claus Vs. The Man With No Name.  TMWNN is out for revenge because one Christmas as a child Santa gave him a lump of coal (a development which is periodically revealed to the audience via flashbacks over the course of the film).  Also includes a full-scale set-piece battle between the Union Army and Santa's elves.  ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Leone Admirer on December 14, 2005, 05:10:55 AM
hehehe nice one Groggy  ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Christopher on January 05, 2006, 01:34:47 PM
I wonder if this is how they came up with some of the SW titles. ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: bryzee86 on March 07, 2006, 09:49:11 AM
ah brilliant, I just got:

A Coffin Without the Dead (1966)

directed by Franco Giraldi

starring Henry Fonda, Claudia Cardinale and James Coburn as three coffin makers with a distinct lack of business....


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: bryzee86 on March 07, 2006, 09:51:00 AM
just got an even better one:

Death meets the Dead (1969)

don't know how that would work....


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Eric on March 07, 2006, 11:12:52 PM
I just found the following old SW film:

"Ballad For Your Death" (1968) - dir. Antonio Margheriti, starring Clint Eastwood, Gina Lollobrigida and James Mason


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on April 28, 2006, 06:19:41 PM
"A Train Shoots The Cut-Throats Nine" (1965), directed by Leopoldo Savona and starring Luisa Rinelli, Jess Hahn, and Pablito Alonzo.

This early attempt at a Gothic Western involves a gang of criminals (the Cut-Throats Nine, from whom Joaquín Luis Romero Marchent would blatantly steal the title seven years later) who try to rob an army train which has one of them big cannons mounted on the back (see GBU).  Unfortunately the movie lasts about six minutes, as all of the Nine are obliterated by an artillery shell from this gun, with lots of blood and gore.

Sir Christopher Frayling referred to this movie as. . .

"An interesting though not always successful attempt at an original Spaghetti Western rather than the assembly-line plots about bounty hunters and massive shootouts." ("Spaghetti Westerns", p. 9,9293A)

While Leonard Maltin rates it. . .

"A total waste of my f***ing time.  BOMB" (Note: Maltin never actually saw the film.  :P)

Released February 30th, 1966 in Freedonia, Sylvania, Tomania, and Elbonia, it was a massive hit in those countries, though (apparently) it was never released anywhere else. ;D It's a must-see for anyone even remotely interested in the Spaghetti Western genre.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Peacemaker on April 29, 2006, 05:22:47 PM
"A Train Shoots The Cut-Throats Nine" (1965), directed by Leopoldo Savona and starring Luisa Rinelli, Jess Hahn, and Pablito Alonzo.

This early attempt at a Gothic Western involves a gang of criminals (the Cut-Throats Nine, from whom Joaquín Luis Romero Marchent would blatantly steal the title seven years later) who try to rob an army train which has one of them big cannons mounted on the back (see GBU).  Unfortunately the movie lasts about six minutes, as all of the Nine are obliterated by an artillery shell from this gun, with lots of blood and gore.

Sir Christopher Frayling referred to this movie as. . .

"An interesting though not always successful attempt at an original Spaghetti Western rather than the assembly-line plots about bounty hunters and massive shootouts." ("Spaghetti Westerns", p. 9,9293A)

While Leonard Maltin rates it. . .

"A total waste of my f***ing time.  BOMB" (Note: Maltin never actually saw the film.  :P)

Released February 30th, 1966 in Freedonia, Sylvania, Tomania, and Elbonia, it was a massive hit in those countries, though (apparently) it was never released anywhere else. ;D It's a must-see for anyone even remotely interested in the Spaghetti Western genre.

 ;D

I got one:
" A Mule for the Colonel "
starring Clint Eastwood as Colonel No name
and eli Wallach as the voice of the talking mule.

This film made in 1967 was shown in theaters for only two minutes before the audience began to throw items at the screen. The reason for this was Clint Eastwood's character ( a strict Nazi-like german colonel aiding the  Mexicans during thier revolution ) anti-semitic statements. Eastwood later commented on the film: " Sometimes I wonder what the hell I was smokin' when I signed up to be in this piece a' s***. " Eli Wallach later commented: " Yes, it is a very racial movie. Eastwood's character, who's suppose to be the good guy, completely degrades my people. I only signed up to be in the film because I was smoking drugs with Clint Eastwood the day they offered us the roles. "

Frayling comments: " I hated this racist, horrible Nazi propaganda and I was on drugs when I saw it! "

Howard Hughes wrote in Once Upon a Time in Italy: " A Mule for the Colonel was so offensive and slanderous that I would rather watch American Idol than this crap! "

Because of it's racism and strong predjuidice statements, A Mule for the Colonel was banned in every country in the world. To this day, there is no copy of this film in existence. This is one of those ultra-rare spaghettis that devoted fans of the genre search a lifetime for.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on April 29, 2006, 05:30:21 PM
Eastwood later commented on the film: " Sometimes I wonder what the hell I was smokin' when I signed up to be in this piece a' s***. "

I am surprised he didnt say the same for "Any which way but loose". ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on April 29, 2006, 05:44:24 PM
"Two Djangos for Trinity"


Famous outlaw Trinty(Fabio Testi) is being hunted by two bounty hunters named Django. Then towards the end of the picture the REAL Django(Piero Lulli) appears and helps Trinity blast the two imposters to hell with his gatling gun. However Django has a hidden agenda of his own...


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Peacemaker on May 14, 2006, 05:08:33 PM
" Two Bullets to the Head "

starring Franco Nero as the suicidal
and Tomas Milian as his buddy, Muy Estupido

This rare-spaghetti is a lost Nero/Milian film. Unfortunately Nero is only on the screen for a minute before he blows his brain out in front of his dumb friend Muy Estupido. After ten minutes are spent watching Muy Estupido stare off into oblivion, he finally realizes his friend is dead. The rest of the film is spent showing Muy Estupido's quest to avenge his friend's suicide. The film ends with Milian realizing his friend committed suicide so his friend is the killer so he takes revenge for his friend on his friend.

Nero later commented on the film: " It was terrible because I was only in it for a minute before I shoot myself. "

Milian commented: " Originally they turned me down for the role of Muy Estupido because they said I was too dumb to play the role...............HEY! Wait a minute! That's an insult! "

Two Bullets to the Head was so pointless it was only shown in theaters once then the reel was burned by Nero himself. The film is no longer in existence.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on May 20, 2006, 06:56:13 AM
Well, these fake titles honestly aren't any more bizarre than some of the real ones.  According to Fistful of Westerns, there are Spaghettis entitled:

I'll Sell My Skin Dearly (1968)
Fighters from Ave Maria (1970)
If One is Born a Swine (1972)
and
And They Smelled the Strange, Exciting, Dangerous Scent of Dollars (1973)

And these ones are just from Spartaco Conversi's page! :o

http://website.lineone.net/~braithwaitej/mainsite/overview/actors/conversi.htm


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Marco Leone on May 20, 2006, 02:31:23 PM
And They Smelled the Strange, Exciting, Dangerous

Now thats a must find!!  What a great name!


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on May 20, 2006, 03:01:19 PM
there is a Miles Deem spaghetti western called...

"Stranger that kneels beside the shadow of a corpse"


very surreal...


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on May 20, 2006, 05:20:45 PM
And of course I forgot my personal favorite: "Samson and the Treasure of the Incas"!  I would pay good money to see that, preferably MST3K-style, but if not, I could probably make fun of it myself.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: boardwalk_angel on May 21, 2006, 09:37:03 AM
One of my favorite SW names is...one of the USA names for "Ben and Charlie"........
The Humpty Dumpty Gang..it's sooo cute :D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on May 22, 2006, 05:12:09 PM
Do they get to fight the Apple Dumpling Gang?


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: boardwalk_angel on May 22, 2006, 10:16:46 PM
Do they get to fight the Apple Dumpling Gang?

That'd be great...& the winner takes on the Over The Hill Gang.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on May 23, 2006, 05:04:38 PM
And then the Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight (not that they'd be hard to beat).


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Silenzio on July 29, 2006, 11:32:10 AM
Django Shoots the Holy Ghost, directed by Lucio Fulci in 1972. Starring Jose Holupi, Rod Steiger, and Herbert Fux. I didn't have to rack my brain too hard to come up with a plot: Django vs. the catholic church . . . sounds like a classic.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Peacemaker on July 29, 2006, 11:41:11 AM
Django Shoots the Holy Ghost, directed by Lucio Fulci in 1972. Starring Jose Holupi, Rod Steiger, and Herbert Fux. I didn't have to rack my brain too hard to come up with a plot: Django vs. the catholic church . . . sounds like a classic.


You forgot about the classic spaghetti made in 1967:

" Kill and Pray: A Catholic Odyssey "

starring Clint Eastwood as the man with no religion
      and Gabriele Ferzetti as the pope

Movie Tagline:  Clint Eastwood is the man with no religion, and he's out to raise hell for his ultimate opponent...the pope!

This film not only took a swing at the Catholic church but the Aetheists as well, the scientologists, and every other major religion in the world. The film was shown once and then it was cast into the sea. This is a spaghetti western that devoted fans of the genre are desperate to find, it is located in the Mediterranean Sea 5 miles off the coast of Italy. It's value is approximately 1/2 cent.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on July 29, 2006, 11:26:12 PM
I didn't have to rack my brain too hard to come up with a plot: Django vs. the catholic church . . . sounds like a classic.



Oh really? Thats it? I thought he was going to go up against the sw character "Holy Ghost" (aka Harold) played by Gianni Garko.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Silenzio on July 30, 2006, 04:47:00 PM

Oh really? Thats it? I thought he was going to go up against the sw character "Holy Ghost" (aka Harold) played by Gianni Garko.

Two men fighting? Old hat. One man fighting Roman-Catholicism would be something everybody could enjoy. Especially the climactic duel Django would have with the pope at the end (one that could compare to GBU's showdown [under the inspired direction of me of course . . .  ;)]).

Anyways, by the end of the duel the pope will have ben shot three times in his liver (rupturing it [and the popes hat will have been shot off of course]), but instead of waiting for ten minutes for the Pope to die, Django would stab him through the chest with a cross. And the last line of the film would be:































"Django RULES!"









Now, THAT is a classic.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on July 30, 2006, 06:23:25 PM
the climactic duel Django would have with the pope at the end (one that could compare to GBU's showdown


I thought two men fighting was too "old hat"? ;)


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Silenzio on July 30, 2006, 09:05:33 PM
Dammit, Firecracker, quit finding things wrong with all of my posts.  ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on July 30, 2006, 09:40:44 PM
 :D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Peacemaker on July 30, 2006, 11:04:21 PM

Anyways, by the end of the duel the pope will have ben shot three times in his liver (rupturing it [and the popes hat will have been shot off of course]), but instead of waiting for ten minutes for the Pope to die, Django would stab him through the chest with a cross.


I hope the pope doesn't visit these boards!   ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 31, 2006, 06:24:15 AM
Is the Pope really that good of a gunslinger though?  I wasn't under that impression myself.  ::)


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Peacemaker on July 31, 2006, 08:59:55 AM
Is the Pope really that good of a gunslinger though?

Let's hope not, if he is then he might have other ways of ex-communicating people.   ;D


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Tim on July 31, 2006, 12:09:15 PM
Quote
Let's hope not, if he is then he might have other ways of ex-communicating people.

  Now, this sounds like an interesting religion.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Peacemaker on July 31, 2006, 01:29:13 PM
  Now, this sounds like an interesting religion.

A good religion? This sounds like a good SW!


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on July 31, 2006, 05:26:12 PM
Let's hope not, if he is then he might have other ways of ex-communicating people.   ;D


;)


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on July 31, 2006, 07:06:17 PM
maybe its just me... but...doesnt the new Pope look a bit like this guy?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40507000/jpg/_40507021_sidious.jpg


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Silenzio on August 01, 2006, 09:30:12 AM
maybe its just me... but...doesnt the new Pope look a bit like this guy?

http://news.bbc.co.uk/media/images/40507000/jpg/_40507021_sidious.jpg

A side by side comparison:

(http://positivelyverisimilitudesque.blogs.com/my_weblog/images/pope_1.jpg)

(http://www.joe-perez.com/pics/emperor_sidious05.jpg)


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Peacemaker on August 01, 2006, 12:08:39 PM
A side by side comparison:

(http://positivelyverisimilitudesque.blogs.com/my_weblog/images/pope_1.jpg)

(http://www.joe-perez.com/pics/emperor_sidious05.jpg)

Oh my God!

And I'm Catholic! Am I evil?   ;D   :-\


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on August 01, 2006, 03:46:41 PM
Told ya...his resemblance to Palpatine is Uncanny.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on August 01, 2006, 04:39:16 PM
That is a rather curious picture of the Pope - what is the context of that?  :o


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on August 01, 2006, 11:12:52 PM
That is a rather curious picture of the Pope - what is the context of that?  :o

he's performing a force choke.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Peacemaker on August 02, 2006, 11:33:40 AM
he's performing a force choke.

I still can't believe my pope is Palpatine. I knew he was evil! Ever since I heard he was in a Nazi Youth Group!


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on August 02, 2006, 04:13:42 PM
he's performing a force choke.

Sure looks that way.  Benedict, you got some 'splainin' to do!  :o


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on August 03, 2006, 02:59:23 PM
Hey Groggs...
since you got Frank's cigar to light up can you make the picture of the Pope have Force lightning come out of his finger tips?
That would be cool.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Groggy on August 03, 2006, 04:32:19 PM
Hey Groggs...
since you got Frank's cigar to light up can you make the picture of the Pope have Force lightning come out of his finger tips?
That would be cool.

What's it with all of you guys talking about Frank's cigar?  ???


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on August 03, 2006, 06:22:06 PM
What's it with all of you guys talking about Frank's cigar?  ???


you made it light up. you made a little animation.

or is that Joe_bob?


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Silenzio on August 03, 2006, 10:03:47 PM
I think Joe_bob has a smoking rifle. And somebody has Mortimer's pipe smoking.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: The Firecracker on August 03, 2006, 10:05:07 PM
I think Joe_bob has a smoking rifle. And somebody has Mortimer's pipe smoking.

http://www.fistful-of-leone.com/forums/index.php?topic=3771.0


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: emmo26 on June 14, 2012, 03:53:12 PM
Im sure I heard on internet or tv that was a plot that involved the nazi´s inventing a time machine and travelling back to the wildwest to invade America....
even to the point they built a warship for the confederates.....


HAS THIS BEEN done or have I dreamt this one up??!!!



Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: emmo26 on June 15, 2012, 05:35:49 AM
maybe it was in an episode of Sliders, I don´t know.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: cigar joe on June 16, 2012, 03:40:00 AM
wasn't there a Clive Cusser novel about something like that?


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: drinkanddestroy on June 27, 2012, 09:40:01 AM
A Horse Called Fistful directed by John Fordson, starring Clint Westwood


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: emmo26 on July 05, 2012, 01:24:49 PM
More of a mash up this one...


The Good, the bad and For a Few Dollars more.


The name of the cemetery is engraved on Angle Eyes pocketwatch and the name of the grave is on El Indio´s watch.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: Jill on July 11, 2012, 07:12:17 AM
Now I'm getting a bit crazy with pocket watches, so... Mortimer and Indio are Time Lords under a Chemeleon Arch (well, except it wouldn't work since they open them regularly). But just imagine Volonté's crazy awesome as the Master. He would have been so great.


Title: Re: Create Your Own Spaghetti Western
Post by: emmo26 on August 27, 2012, 04:33:43 PM
I was thinking about this the other day....

A western version of its a mad mad mad world.....call it "It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad Western" and have all the old skool western stars in there such as Wayne and Clint (obviously you couldn´t do it today).

The film would have a comedic feel to it,  such as films like Cat Ballou and Paint you Wagon, whist they all race towards buried gold.