Create Your Own Spaghetti Western

[Marco Leone]

New section added to my site ( http://mysite.wanadoo-members.co.uk/spaghettiwesterns ).  Click on the "FUN" link.

Impress your friends by telling them you have discovered some rare and hard to find Euro-Western.   But really, you have just used my Spaghetti Western generator to make up some movie that never really existed.

Mock as they spend ages trawling IMDB, and embarrasing themselves by asking for details of it on the Spaghetti Western Web Board.

[redyred]

Reminds me of a song my old band used to have "I invented some fake bands to name drop in front of you, so when you couldn't find out anything about them I could claim I was more "scene" than you"

[Juan Miranda]

A friend of mine came up with a concept for a series of classic Spaghetti Westerns a few years ago, which we have since expanded on down the pub.

The first film was RIDE, BASTARD, RIDE! to be followed up with the inevitable BASTARD RETURNS, MY NAME IS BASTARD, BASTARD'S GOLD etc, ending with THE SON OF BASTARD VS JESSIE JAMES, naturally. All directed by John Santi, with different tempremental English thesps such as Aubrey Morris and Freddie Jones in the Bastard role.

In the DVD age we can now look forward to THE COMPLETE BASTARD box set.

[Groggy]

The film is: "A Place Called Timothy", directed by Giulio Questi in 1966.  It stars Lou Castel, Cris Huerta, and Tomas Milian.

Another one: Tomas Valerii's "The Brides Without Sandoval" (1970), with Franco Nero, Lawrence Dobkin, and Giovanni Cianfriglia.

One more:  "Day Pray For Blood" (1971), another forgotten effort by Giulio Questi, with Paco Sanz, Antonio Casas, and Ennio Girolami.

I had a similar game where you had to come up with the title, the name of your protagonist, his weapon of choice, etc.  I didn't have it on the 'Net, but I had it written down somewhere a while ago. 

[Marco Leone]

Groggy, lets face it...... we would watch every one of those films that you have created! 

[grandpa_chum]

this is fun, so much I did it 3 times... I got...

Guillo Petroni's "A Bullet For The Dead(1970)" starring fernando rey, robert hossein, and rik battaglia

and

Gianfranco Parolini's "Seven Hours Of Fists(1971) starring claudia cardinale, Chin Chin, and Livio Lorenzon

and

Robert Parrish's "Dynamite Joe Shoots Dynamite Jim(1972) starring bud spencer, marc mazza, and Tomas blanco

that second one sounds more like 70's porn but hey.

[redyred]

that second one sounds more like 70's porn but hey.

How about Luigi Bazzoni's "Django rides Sabata" for some Spaghetti slash fiction?

[redyred]

Of course, by the 70s there were serious attempts to tone down the violence in Spaghetti Westerns, hence we have

Sergio Bergonzelli's "Duel without Death"

and

Ettore Fizarotti's "Django kills Nobody"

[Marco Leone]

How about Luigi Bazzoni's "Django rides Sabata" for some Spaghetti slash fiction?

Now that puts an image into my head that I never needed to see!!! 

[Groggy]

Here are a few more:
 
Tomas Valerii's (is he the same as Tonino, or are they different people?) "The Big Shoots His Gold Pistol" (1964), with Glen Saxson, Frank Wolff, and John Phillip Law (talk about an all-star cast!).

1967 gave us Franco Giraldi's epic "A Fistful Kills The General", with Emil Feist, John Steiner, and Enrico Maria Salerno.

1969 gave us another classic: Luigi Bazzoni's "Halleluyah Rides Knuckles" (another slash pick, I guess), with Donald Pleasance, Rod Steiger, and Rada Rassimov.

And one more for the road:
A late, 1971 Spaghetti by Giullio Quest: "The Magnificent Brutes Without The MacGregors", which featured Herbert Fux, Maurizi Merli, and the invaluable Sergio Tardioli.

[Groggy]

And apparently our very own Sergio made one we didn't know about: 

"Cjamango The Seven" (1969)
Directed by Sergio Leone
Starring Brett Hasley, Terrence Hill, and Marco Mariani.

[redyred]

An incisive Marxist analysis of American capitalism was at the heart of this lost Sergio Corbucci classic:

"A Few Dollars called The West" (1966), with Frank Wolff, Piero Lulli and Lorella de Luca.

[Groggy]

A few more before I go:

"The Good Without Coyote" (Tomas Valerii, 1966), with Elsa Martinelli, Craig Hill, and Lynn Redgrave, about three Old West friends who realize they can't go on without the companionship of their pet coyote.

"Fort Yuma Kills The Condemned" (1966), another lost Sergio Leone Western, an action-packed semi-sequel to GBU, with Kevin McCarthy, Lorella De Luca, and Jose Manuel Martin.

"A Man Kills The Ruthless" (1965), Giulio Questi's gripping tale of revenge and bloodshed on the Tex-Mex border, with Leif Garrett, Charles Bronson, and Emma Cohne.

"The Forgotten Of The Dead" (1973), a strange later attempt to breathe new life into the Spaghetti Western subgenre by Sergio Corbucci, starring Igor Alimov and Brock Peters as zombies who try to remember who former partner Brett Halsey is, while being chased by a demented vampire hunter.

"Two R-R-Ringos Rides The Gunfighter" (1969), Duccio Tessari's haunting tale of a homosexual love triangle, featuring Telly Sevalas as the Gunfighter, and Nieves Navarro and Attilio Severini as the R-R-Ringos who love him.

And finally, "Django For Sacramento" (1973), Enzo Barboni's gripping installment of the Django franchise, which saw Django as a politician/gunfighter who opposes the moving of the California state capitol to San Diego.  Antonio De Teffe is Django, Gregg Palmer and George Hilton are two baddies.

[Marco Leone]

I'm glad my lil toy has provided some entertainment.  I'm wondering if any of these titles ever did see the light of day.  The same names and phrases were used so many times, its likely that they did!

Wouldn't mind setting my eyes on "The Forgotten of the Dead" Groggy.  A great SW horror crossover!

[Groggy]

Here are some more:

"The Big And First" (1971) is a Ettore Fizarotti Western, featuring John Steiner is a guy with a small member (is this too vulgar for this board? ) who is upset that baddie Pablito Alonso - the "Big" - always gets the "first" pick of the girls.  With the help of surgeon Jose Calvo, he sets out to castrate "The Big".

"Savage Gun Vs. Dynamite Jim" (1973, Giullio Testi) - why is this great movie forgotten?  Alfredo Rizzo and Sprio Focas face off against each other for no reason other than to move the story along.  Emma Cohen is the woman forced to choose between them.

"Cemetery Called Two Twins" (1967, Massimo Dallamano) is about a pair of twin brothers, sons of an undertaker, who kill each other arguing over who gets the cemetery named after them.  Brett Hasley and Raf Baldassarre are the brothers; Lou Castel is the priest who figures out the perfect name for the cemetery.

"Magnificent Brutes Strikes White Fang" (1966, Florestano Vancini) stars Alberto dell'Acqua and Riccardo Pizzutti as two bounty hunters who hunt down a vicious wolf.  Marianne Koch also stars.

"Killer Kid Strikes The Gravedigger" (1967, Robert Parrish) is about the Killer Kid (Clint Eastwood), an Old West bounty hunter who is arrested for aggravated assault after he punches the man who was burying his latest victim.  Anthony Quinn is his defense attorney.  Also appearing is Graziella Granata.