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Author Topic: Reviews of the crappiest spaghetti westerns around.  (Read 87105 times)
The Firecracker
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« Reply #15 on: March 09, 2006, 03:11:36 PM »

hey Banjo I have to apologize to you. Saw Ace High again after a year and a half of hating it.

I must say I was very entertained.

I was wondering the whole time as to why I disliked so much the first time?

I thought...

I thought...

and I thought...

and finally I came up with my conclusion.....

  It was the third non-leone spag I saw. The first two being Django(which I loved) and The great silence(which I love). It is safe to say those are top-notch spaghettis. however I cant say the same for Ace high. So I think that I was underwhelmed with the whole film.
I was expecting it to be as good as the first two, and of course it is not.

But I gave it a second chance and I ended up  liking it.
some scenes dont really work like the fight scenes with Bud and Terence are to slapsticky, and this is made to be a serious spaghetti. and also the last half hour of the film dragged a bit until we get that wonderful showdown at the end.

There was a particularly embarassing moment where Eli is preparing for the showdown and yells out "wait! I always pictured music at this moment". I started to laugh expecting Morricone to come out of no where with his orchestra and start playing "il triello". It took me out of the movie. But other than that, that showdown is done very well.

I thought eli should have died though. he did get shot, might as well have left him dead. the writers seemed to be to much of cowards to do so.

I liked Ace high so much, that it is no longer apart of my "reviews to crappy sw list".

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« Reply #16 on: March 10, 2006, 04:26:30 AM »

Good to hear,i was expecting you to give the music a bit of stick which i think is mainly ok but one of the themes definately sounds like it belongs in the mental ward of One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest!
Firecracker what do you think of the Trinity films?

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The Firecracker
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« Reply #17 on: March 10, 2006, 11:08:12 AM »

Good to hear,i was expecting you to give the music a bit of stick which i think is mainly ok but one of the themes definately sounds like it belongs in the mental ward of One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest!
Firecracker what do you think of the Trinity films?

No I liked the music. the circus music wasnt that great. But overall the soundtrack does its job. I am particularly fond of the violin music at the end.

As for the trinity films. I really like the first one. I adore it even. The only gripe I have with it is the brawl at the end is a bit to long for my taste.

The second trinity film was a complete let down in my opinion. It works just fine 20 minutes in but after the stagecoach robbery gag(which was really funny) it all goes down hill and becomes very unfunny.
also the two films do have wonderful title music.

Banjo perhaps we can make an arrangment of sorts. You mentioned you wanted Ace high on widscreen. my dvd supports widescreen and a beautiful transfer. perhaps I can burn it for you and send you one. I recently got a new laptop that allows me to burn dvd's(I believe). Dont want to get youre hopes high just yet, I am not sure if it can burn dvd's or not. we shall see.

« Last Edit: March 10, 2006, 11:10:54 AM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #18 on: March 10, 2006, 11:45:55 AM »

review for...
Boot Hill


 "And the cats and the cradle and the silver spoon, boy whoever directed this was a real loon."(bad pun)


Before I get into the review I must say that this is the worst spaghetti western I have had the displeasure of watching. Boot Hill is the last of the Cat Stevens trilogy, the first two being "God forgives, I dont" and "Ace High." Let us begin.


Things start off interesting enough with are hero Cat Stevens(this character has no relation to the singer and is played by Terence hill) the mysterious gunslinger is in a dreary looking town being chased by several bad guys. A gunfight ensues between Cat and the bad guys. Cat is shot and crawls to the nearest hiding spot, the interior of a  traveling circus stagecoach(owned by a circus performer visiting the town there in). The circus leaves town bringing along there stagecoaches and Cat escapes. The wounded hero is discovered by circus trapeze artist Woody Strode( Now I like woody and I think he is a bad ass, unfortunatly this is a terrible role for him) in the most embarassing role I have ever seen him in. He spends most of the movie in an embarsassing circus outfit and is prone to do jimnastics...

...anyway. Woody and the other performers(including Lionel Stander in the role of the ringleader of the circus.) try to heal Cat while traveling to there next performance town. They arrive in a town that is owned by a greedy buissness man and his henchmen(the same bad guys who tried to kill Cat). The greedy town boss is after a mine that is owned by the miners of the town( I am not really sure what the guy wants for sure, by this time I just wanted to get through the movie so I can never watch it again). The town boss's henchmen end up killing some miners and a few circus performers. naturally the circus performers want revenge. they ask for the help of Cat to help rid these bastards. Cat agrees realizing that he would like to get rid of the people who shot him as much as these circus folk want to get rid of them for killing there friends. Cat seeks out his old friend Hutch(Bud Spencer) and trains the circus folk to fight. at the end the circus folk invite the town boss and his cronies to see a circus performance for free. They show up, all hell breaks loose....

....There is a overlong and boring gunfight for the finale which involves circus midgets beating up on random bad guys and circus performers firing their guns around not looking like they are actually hitting anything in particular. somehow they manage to win the fight though. There is a highlight moment in the gunfight where Cat stevens squares off in a showdown between him and a bad guy(presumably the one who shot him). The two do the whole routine thing, stare at each other for several seconds and such...then they FIRE. But you dont see either one of them get shot, the scene moves to something else and you dont find out until later who lived(Cat prevails of course, but it was still suspenseful and the only time any real imagination shows itself present in the film). As you can tell there is little action in the film. you are right. there is only the beginning gunfight and the end gunfight, leaving you with nothing interesting to watch for a good hour and 15 minutes. If that gap between gunfights were filmed with interesting characters and build up, that would be fine. but you get none of the here. You'll be bored to tears throughout the picture and you will cringe at some of the circus stuff that goes on in the film. I see the film as an endurance test. The circus clowns in the movie seem to be mocking you, to see how long you will endure this torture.

The Actors

Terence Hill: Hill is fine as clint eastwood errrrr...I mean Cat stevens, the lone cynical gunslinger. He did the same role better in the previous film "Ace High" though.

Bud Spencer: plays the same lovable brute he plays in every damn movie.

Woody Strode:..............................................................


Lionel Stander: does virtually nothing in this film. He doesnt even fight during the gunfight at the end. And he does NOTHING to escape the "creepy somewhat perverted old guy" image he has had in all his spaghetti westerns.


After thoughts:
For those who were eyeing the wild east dvd(though i am curious to see a decent transfer of this film.) dont get it. it aint worth it. no matter how much wild east boasts about there crisp transfer. They have a quote in the back saying "no spaghetti western fan should miss this". who the hell are they trying to fool?

the tagline of the movie was
"Boot Hill, where nobody died of natural causes."
.......................................................................................................................................yeah.
Because they died of boredom.



CRAP METER:9

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE:1

« Last Edit: April 29, 2006, 01:30:47 AM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #19 on: March 11, 2006, 06:38:06 AM »

Banjo perhaps we can make an arrangment of sorts. You mentioned you wanted Ace high on widscreen. my dvd supports widescreen and a beautiful transfer. perhaps I can burn it for you and send you one. I recently got a new laptop that allows me to burn dvd's(I believe). Dont want to get youre hopes high just yet, I am not sure if it can burn dvd's or not. we shall see.
I'll send you a personal message.
I've purposely not read the Boot Hill review until i've seen it for myself.I started watching a bit of the Shanghai Joe film last night which is pretty good so far.I see that they've used Bruno Nicholais extremely cool score from Have A Good Funeral Sartana Will Pay!!!

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« Reply #20 on: March 12, 2006, 03:31:03 AM »

Watched the rest of Shanghai Joe yesterday - boy doesn't this get unnecessarily gory in places!This is a dumb cartoonish but entertaining sw,Kinski's pretty good as Scalping Jack as are the other bad guys.The Kung Fu is and marginally better than in Stranger and The Gunfighter but i really dislike all that slow motion flying in the air kind of stuff and the moves that are played backwards(yes theres a bit of this also in SATG)-this never happens in a Bruce Lee movie.
I still much prefer Stranger & The Gunfigter which oozes humour throughout which Shanghai Joe is definately lacking.

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« Reply #21 on: March 12, 2006, 04:57:28 PM »

Watched the rest of Shanghai Joe yesterday - boy doesn't this get unnecessarily gory in places!This is a dumb cartoonish but entertaining sw,Kinski's pretty good as Scalping Jack as are the other bad guys.The Kung Fu is and marginally better than in Stranger and The Gunfighter but i really dislike all that slow motion flying in the air kind of stuff and the moves that are played backwards(yes theres a bit of this also in SATG)-this never happens in a Bruce Lee movie.
I still much prefer Stranger & The Gunfigter which oozes humour throughout which Shanghai Joe is definately lacking.

shame you didnt like it as much as I did. I see you noticed its the same soundtrack as "Have a good funeral"(which in my opinion is the best soundtrack of the Sartana series).

I too found Joe's jumping and yelling "aeeeeeeeeee!" very annoying as well, but it didnt ruin the action for me. And I have to say that the kung-fu in this film is miles away from the awful dreck of
"Stranger and the gunfighter"(though I am aware that shanghai's kung-fu sequences are nothing special).

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« Reply #22 on: March 13, 2006, 06:58:08 AM »

The kung fu guy in SATG is a much more likeable character and less one dimensional than Shanghai Joe and i find it hard to fathom his keeness in becoming a cowboy so much when the Amercican cowboys treat him so appallingly.
I like the SATG chinamans guile when he uses that contraption to win on the roulette wheel(LVC's hilarious in this scene btw) and gains access to one of the girls behinds via his acupuncture needles.
The soundtrack and the four villains hired to kill Shanghai Joe were the best thing in this film but i didn't care much for the samurai warrior or the fight sequence in the finale.

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« Reply #23 on: March 14, 2006, 06:26:26 AM »

i can vouch for these to be very entertaining from the box set
Minnessota clay
I watched this last night and its not all that bad though a bit miserable do you think?I suppose we should expect this from an early Corbucci movie-i prefer Ringo and His Golden Pistol(now the penultimate worst Corbucci film in my collection-still they'e all good so far!) starring Mark Damon and much more spaghetti-esque in style!!
By the way you're the first person i heard less than complimentary comments about Johnny Yuma(also with Damon).What was wrong with this movie Firecracker?

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« Reply #24 on: March 14, 2006, 11:09:17 AM »

  I don't know if it qualifies as a spaghetti western -- I can't find too much information on it -- but has anyone seen "The Proud and the Damned"?  Chuck Connors, the Rifleman, is the leader of a close knit group of Confederate mercenaries in an unidentified South American country.  They must decide whether to side with the evil dictator or the poor revolutionaries.

  This one was pretty bad, but I still found myself liking it, especially the ending (and no, not because it was over).  The costumes are pretty ridiculous, the budget is obviously minimal, and some of the script is laughable, but like I said, I still enjoyed it.  I bought it on VHS for $2.99 so it didn't bankrupt me.  If you'd like to see it, there are cheap dvd/vhs tapes available at Amazon.

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« Reply #25 on: March 14, 2006, 02:18:54 PM »

  I don't know if it qualifies as a spaghetti western -- I can't find too much information on it -- but has anyone seen "The Proud and the Damned"?  Chuck Connors, the Rifleman, is the leader of a close knit group of Confederate mercenaries in an unidentified South American country.  They must decide whether to side with the evil dictator or the poor revolutionaries.

  This one was pretty bad, but I still found myself liking it, especially the ending (and no, not because it was over).  The costumes are pretty ridiculous, the budget is obviously minimal, and some of the script is laughable, but like I said, I still enjoyed it.  I bought it on VHS for $2.99 so it didn't bankrupt me.  If you'd like to see it, there are cheap dvd/vhs tapes available at Amazon.

Cannot say I have heard of that Tim.
HuhHuhHuhHuhHuhHuhHuhHuhHuh??

Banjo: What do you mean by "miserable"? do you mean the downer ending of minnesota clay?Huh?

If that is the case, no.  I was expecting the ending(thanks to shobary who in his infinite knowledge decides to yet again fill his reveiws with spoilers).


As for Johnny Yuma...It is not that I found it horrible...It is just that I found it a decent entry to the genre, not really anything to  rave about.
personally I think the director cannot decide wether he is making a comedy western or a serious one.
There are really brutal scenes in Johnny Yuma (the scene where the villian tortures yuma with the poke is very sadistic, also yuma smearing his blood on the bad dudes face is also brutal. The dehydration of the noirish "spider woman" and of course the killing of a child.) and then there are stupid whimsy scenes like the "peeping tom" parrot, and the incredibly annoying mexican peon sidekick. Also for me Yuma fails as a character. one minute he is happy go lucky, the next he is a cynical jerk. I very much preferred the hired killer(who is also the lover of the "spider woman") over Johnny Yuma.

Johnny Yuma is a fun romp, but fails in alot of things.

one minute action adventure comedy(Any gun can play) the next minute it is a brutal spaghetti western(Django). For it to work properly...it should have decided what it was going to be the first 5 minutes in.


Incidently...I have a sneaky suspicion that the scene where they kill the child is cut from the diamond entertainment version....is that so? I notice a really awkward jump(as if frames are missing) in that scene.
For anybody who has the Wild East version, could you please enlighten me on the subject.


"Find a place to die" review will be made soon.....

« Last Edit: March 14, 2006, 02:23:28 PM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #26 on: March 14, 2006, 02:27:09 PM »

And speaking of Johnny Oro(which i do want to get eventually).

When is corbucci's other less popular film coming out? of course I am speaking of "The Specialist".

I have heard whispers of "special edition dvd" in the wind but I have yet to see this realized.

also anchor bay really needs to release the long promised "hellbenders" dvd.

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« Reply #27 on: March 15, 2006, 03:12:33 AM »

Cannot say I have heard of that Tim.
HuhHuhHuhHuhHuhHuhHuhHuhHuh??

Banjo: What do you mean by "miserable"? do you mean the downer ending of minnesota clay?Huh?

If that is the case, no.  I was expecting the ending(thanks to shobary who in his infinite knowledge decides to yet again fill his reveiws with spoilers).


As for Johnny Yuma...It is not that I found it horrible...It is just that I found it a decent entry to the genre, not really anything to  rave about.
personally I think the director cannot decide wether he is making a comedy western or a serious one.
There are really brutal scenes in Johnny Yuma (the scene where the villian tortures yuma with the poke is very sadistic, also yuma smearing his blood on the bad dudes face is also brutal. The dehydration of the noirish "spider woman" and of course the killing of a child.) and then there are stupid whimsy scenes like the "peeping tom" parrot, and the incredibly annoying mexican peon sidekick. Also for me Yuma fails as a character. one minute he is happy go lucky, the next he is a cynical jerk. I very much preferred the hired killer(who is also the lover of the "spider woman") over Johnny Yuma.

Johnny Yuma is a fun romp, but fails in alot of things.

one minute action adventure comedy(Any gun can play) the next minute it is a brutal spaghetti western(Django). For it to work properly...it should have decided what it was going to be the first 5 minutes in.


Incidently...I have a sneaky suspicion that the scene where they kill the child is cut from the diamond entertainment version....is that so? I notice a really awkward jump(as if frames are missing) in that scene.
For anybody who has the Wild East version, could you please enlighten me on the subject.


"Find a place to die" review will be made soon.....
Minnessota Clay-yeau it didn't help because i watched this with the missus who wasn't enjoying it  and it is somewhat less than cheerful throughout with Clay gradually going blind and going from one nasty pickle to the next until his sad demise at the end-i really need to watch this through again by myself!
Johnny Yuma-i agree that the comedy sidekick was a major flaw with this movie although the parrot sequence with the lovely looking widow in the bath(nowadays we'd see a bit more of her!) was fun and i like the way she reacted to the ogling parrot.
I prefer Damon as the villain(he's great in Requiescant) but he was adequate and reasonably likeable in Johnny Yuma but i too really liked the Carradine character.
I know what you mean about the film being stuck in between two camps but i enjoyed the gothic-like feel(aided by a great musical score) to this movie especially that wonderful scene with the widow dresses in that extravagant black horror-like funeral garment as she leads her murdered husbands coffin on the wagon.I think her performance is possibly the best female sw villain i've seen.
Finally from what Leone Admirer says the cut scene with the child killing features with a German only audio on the Wildeast DVD-i think we're talking about 3/4 minutes footage-so i'm not losing any sleep over this!
I'll have to make Find A Place To Die my next sw to watch.-i've seen some great stills of this movie in a sw book btw!

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« Reply #28 on: March 16, 2006, 11:21:36 AM »

"Find a place to die" is not really utter trash but it draaaagggssssss.

I'll get into it more when I do the review.

but as for now I want to say that I am having some "family trouble" at the moment and I wont be on for a good week. So I'll have the review for you all then.
Bye  Smiley Wink

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« Reply #29 on: March 17, 2006, 03:01:11 AM »

I thought Find A Place To Die was ok but i know what you mean as it does drag in places.

« Last Edit: March 30, 2006, 01:52:51 AM by banjo » Logged
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