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Author Topic: Reviews of the crappiest spaghetti westerns around.  (Read 87070 times)
The Firecracker
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« Reply #30 on: March 19, 2006, 12:46:36 AM »

It is rather late for me to write a review for "Find a place to die" at the moment, I'll get on it some other time...for the moment I will give a mini review for "savage guns"(not to be confused with another early spaghetti western of the same name) which is also known as "His name was sam wallbash, but they called him amen" is directed by the "genre hack" of the spaghetti western genre(according to a book I own called "spaghetti westerns: the good the bad and the violent") Miles Deem, an alias for his real name Fidani Demofilo, the film is the definition of "trash". But it is entertaining trash, and it is never boring.

The plot is a standard revenge flick. A gang of outlaws enter a saloon and kill everybody in sight, all except for a gunfighter named sam(or amen if you prefer).sam survives the massacre and is hell-bent on revenge for the murder of his brother. turns out the outlaws are respected people in a town. Which makes sam's job a bit harder than need be.

The film has ludicrous acting, and the dialogue feels as if it were written by a 12 year old. Sometimes characters do things that are not rational. There are a bunch of plot holes every where.
There is an amusing scene that consist of a fist fight in a bar that goes on for a good 3 minutes and the kicker is, it has nothing to do with the story or the main characters. Its just there for no purpose at all. The main hero(robert woods, in the first spag western I have seen him in) looks like one of the blokes who gets shot in the opening gun battle of a spaghetti western rather than being the hero of one.

But some how with all its flaws(and there are alot) the film holds together. And it is very entertaining, a guilty pleasure really. The action is high in the film, lots of gunfights and such(some not as good as others). Towards the end there is even a nice gatling gun sequence which is always welcome in a spaghetti in my book.


as a bonus Gordon Mitchell has a very bit part as a wanted outlaw called...Gordan mitchell(not kidding).


Is it crap...yes, but it is marvelous crap.

worth a look, only if you buy the "diamond entertainment spaghetti western" box set which comes with 13 other spags and for a cheap price as well.

If you happen to find a solo copy, DO NOT pay more than $7.00  for it.

CRAP METER:10

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE:8

« Last Edit: April 29, 2006, 01:29:40 AM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #31 on: March 19, 2006, 03:27:31 AM »

Me and the missus watched about half an hour of Boot Hill before having to turn it off,sorry Firecracker,i'll try and finish it some other time.This movie is TEDIOUS,TEDIOUS,TEDIOUS.Apart from Ace High every other Collizi directed Bud and Terence film i've seen including the contemporary All The Way Boys is humourless,boring,depressing,overlong trash.Its lucky that i saw the Trinity films before the likes of Boot Hill because i would never have taken the risk otherwise.
   I'll give Savage Guns a look soon.
   

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The Firecracker
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« Reply #32 on: March 19, 2006, 06:45:25 PM »

Me and the missus watched about half an hour of Boot Hill before having to turn it off,sorry Firecracker,i'll try and finish it some other time.This movie is TEDIOUS,TEDIOUS,TEDIOUS.
   

Oh poor you Banjo Cry
If I were you I would leave it as is...

It is not worth watching, the only reason I sat through it was because I was curious as to how bad it was...and it truly is really bad. The worst spag I have ever seen.
Dont go back to it. Now that you have to watch it where you left off  makes the experience all the more worse.

And why oh why did you make youre poor wife sit through that?Making youre wife watch this is like spouse abuse.
Now that you turned it off, never press play on it again.


was the following link by any chance the awful transfer you had to sit through?(click on the link then click search once on the menu and then click the frame that says boot hill.)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2344508659119517120&q=spaghetti+western


« Last Edit: March 19, 2006, 06:53:25 PM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #33 on: March 20, 2006, 03:50:38 AM »

Oh poor you Banjo Cry
If I were you I would leave it as is...
Thanks Firecracker for letting me off with this one.I did warn the missus first but as she also loves Bud & Terence i thought it was worth the risk!
Couldn't get anything on your link but its in the Diamond Box which we both have!

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« Reply #34 on: March 20, 2006, 11:02:39 AM »

  Is Savage Guns the one with several really long, tedious scenes of people riding around on horseback?  If I remember it right, there are several scenes of Sam riding away into the distance when really it could have been edited a whole lot better.

  I do agree that it's a guilty pleasure.  Not a great spaghetti by any means, but I did enjoy it, including the final shootout.

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The Firecracker
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« Reply #35 on: March 20, 2006, 12:21:05 PM »


Couldn't get anything on your link but its in the Diamond Box which we both have!

Oh right. sorry for the mix-up Sad

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The Firecracker
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« Reply #36 on: March 20, 2006, 12:31:00 PM »

  Is Savage Guns the one with several really long, tedious scenes of people riding around on horseback?  If I remember it right, there are several scenes of Sam riding away into the distance when really it could have been edited a whole lot better.

 


It all depends. There are two spaghetti westerns called "Savage Guns". one is an early italian western made in 1961 starring Richard Basehart and the other is the film I did a mini-review on above.

does it have tedious horse riding scenes? Well that all depends...yes their is a particularly long horseriding scene during the opening credits, but it doesnt much matter since it is the opening credits with the letters rolling across the screen  so it isnt really bothersome. In fact the horse riding in the beginning is shot rather well and has nice slow-mo shots of the horses passing by the camera and kicking up dirt. Their are no other "long and tedious" horseback sequences that come to mind in the film, but perhaps I have a cut version of the film(which is totally ok by me, this isnt high art).

The film does need some serious editing in other places like the saloon bar fight scene that had nothing to do with the story or the main characters(as I mentioned in the review) and a scene with a saloon girl singing some song that goes on for wayyyyyyyyyyy toooooooo looooooooooooong. But I actually like the lack of proffessionalism that goes about in this movie. Its is real fun to watch.

and yes that final gunfight is pretty damn fun.

I definatly will be looking out for other Miles Deem spaghetti westerns. I like he his crappy style.

« Last Edit: March 20, 2006, 12:34:33 PM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #37 on: March 21, 2006, 06:20:11 AM »

I watched Savage Guns yesterday and i'm with both Firecracker and Tim-trashy but enjoyable!
The mediocre hero was more Donny Osmond than Clint don't you think?The bad guys were great fun!

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« Reply #38 on: March 21, 2006, 09:44:09 AM »


The mediocre hero was more Donny Osmond than Clint don't you think?

most certainly. I mentioned in my reveiw that he seems like the type who would be killed within the first three minutes of a western rather than be the hero in one.

Did you see Gordan mitchell? He has that one scene as the hired killer but then you never see him again. must be another plot hole.

« Last Edit: March 22, 2006, 12:27:31 PM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #39 on: March 22, 2006, 12:58:36 AM »

Man I am really stalling on that "find a place to die" review(sorry Banjo).
I will be doing it tomorrow most likley. In the mean-time it is almost 2:00 am and I have a nasty case of insomnia, so I will be watching the last feature on my "diamond entertainment collection" as soon as I end this post(I have the dvd on the menu already Grin). The last feature is "White Comanche" with william shatner. I saw this stinker half-way through one night on television a year or so back. tonight I will be watching from the beginning and finishing(hopefully).

good night all.

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« Reply #40 on: March 22, 2006, 01:54:20 AM »

most certainly. I mentioned in my reveiw that he seems like the type who would be killed within the first three minutes of a western rather than be the hero in one.

Did you see Gordan mitchell? He has that one scene as the hirde killer but then you never see him again. must be another plot hole.
Yeau strange that,i was wondering if i nodded off momentarily and missed something-obviously not!

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« Reply #41 on: March 22, 2006, 12:26:04 PM »

Yeau strange that,i was wondering if i nodded off momentarily and missed something-obviously not!


Yeah Grin I was thinking I missed something as well somehow. But no It is just bad film making on the directors part. Then again I was saying to Tim a few days ago that our copies could be cut. That seems like the logical reason, why else would they build up his character to be this "dangerous"guy and then never have him show up again?




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« Reply #42 on: March 23, 2006, 02:40:06 AM »

Yeah Grin I was thinking I missed something as well somehow. But no It is just bad film making on the directors part. Then again I was saying to Tim a few days ago that our copies could be cut. That seems like the logical reason, why else would they build up his character to be this "dangerous"guy and then never have him show up again?




It may have been cut of course!

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« Reply #43 on: March 23, 2006, 10:24:21 PM »

review for...

"Find a Place to Die"

Lisa and her husband own a gold mine. Bandits led by the sadistic(now I dont remember his name and I dont want to pop in my dvd at the moment to find out. so for the sake of remaining lazy, I will call the bandit leader "Sandy") Sandy want the gold  mine for themselves and start to  fire upon the married couple. Lisa's husband gets wounded in the gunfight and tells lisa that she must go find help while he tries to ward off the bandits. She gets on horse back and rides to the nearest town by the name of "eagle's nest". There she finds a "down and out" gunfighter Joe Collins(jeffrey hunter) who agrees to help her out after hearing her situation.

This is where the movie starts to fall apart. Joe gathers around a posse which consist of a gigolo, a shady mexican and two Gay couples...

...let me take a moment to say that they are never pointed out as "gay couples" but the movie sure tries to shove that image in youre face about them. One of the "couples" is a very large mexican man(you have seen him in other spaghettis) and the other is a short white man. The two are constantly talking about how worried they are for eachother. This is followed by argueing like a married couple.

moving on...

...Along the way Lisa and Joe's posse meet a fake preacher and he joins the gang.

from the scenes when they join the posse to when they finally reach there destination are incredibly slow and boring, nothing happens. They just ride around a bit for a good 10 minutes.
When they reach the gold  mine they find Lisa's husband dead, she sheds a few tears for him and then he is  forgotten(guess she didnt care for him much). It all ends in a big unflashy gunfight with the bandits. the results are all of Joe's posse are killed and he gets to fall in love with lisa and vice versa. how touching.


Joe Collins(Jeffrey Hunter): Brings nothing new to the strong silent type anti-heroes of the spaghetti westerns. In fact he looks rather bored in his role.

Lisa(Pascale Petit): The actress has an exotic look to her that makes her strangly sexy. But thats all she really is...she doesnt capitalize on her looks or even tries to make her character interesting. she just hangs there. she is more of a prop than an actress. There is an interesting scene where she takes a bath in a river nude. unfortunatly the film only teases us with her nude body by keeping the camera far away from her, and we see nothing. Angry


The film is not a total loss. and it certainly isnt complete crap.
But it isnt worth buying on its own. only buy this if it comes in a cheap boxed set with other spaghetti western(or westerns in general).

the biggest dissapointment wasnt the movie, it was the fact that one of the best of the genre's directors was at the helm...Giuliano Carmineo. Known for directing all the Sartana sequels and "They Call him Cemetary" among others.

This is by far HIS weakest spaghetti that I have seen.






CRAP METER:5

ENTERTAINMENT VALUE:5

« Last Edit: April 29, 2006, 01:29:00 AM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #44 on: March 24, 2006, 03:43:41 AM »

the biggest dissapointment wasnt the movie, it was the fact that one of the best of the genre's directors was at the helm...Giuliano Carmineo. Known for directing all the Sartana sequels and "They Call him Cemetary" among others.
Yeau very unrepresentative of a Carmineo western in  much the same way as Trinity director Enzo Barboni's first sw Chuck Mool(quite good actually) is very untypical of the deluge of comedy films that followed it.

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