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| | |-+  Dark Floors (aka LORDI The Motion Picture) (2008)
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Author Topic: Dark Floors (aka LORDI The Motion Picture) (2008)  (Read 2974 times)
The Firecracker
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« on: April 29, 2009, 02:53:53 PM »

Sarah is an autistic little girl whose father is worried about her health. Concerned for her, the father sees a removal from the hospital by force as the only option. An elevator break-down prevents a smooth exit and renders them trapped with others. Yet the incident is only the beginning of a descent into nightmare. As the doors open the hospital appears mysteriously deserted. When mutilated bodies are found, creatures from a dark world start a frightening attack.

Atmospheric, Twilight Zonish first half hour... and then a camp looking monster shows up and kinda ruins everything.
I did some research and the monsters are played by a Finnish rock band called Lordi who actually wear the same costumes seen in the film, on stage.
Making them a Euro version of Slipknot.

This was a pet project of Mr. Lordi's but he should have known to back off and allow the talented folks behind the camera to take the helm.

6/10

« Last Edit: April 29, 2009, 02:55:16 PM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #1 on: April 29, 2009, 03:07:02 PM »

I think I'm gonna pass on this one . . . .

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« Reply #2 on: April 29, 2009, 03:10:22 PM »

I think I'm gonna pass on this one . . . .

As you should. My generous rating is soley for the first half hour.

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« Reply #3 on: April 30, 2009, 01:56:41 AM »

How the fuck did you end up watching this? I never bothered.

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« Reply #4 on: April 30, 2009, 01:04:15 PM »

How the fuck did you end up watching this? I never bothered.

I figured I'd conjure you up, being that you're Finnish and all.
It's on OnDemand. I didn't know what it really was.

Your input is welcome.

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« Reply #5 on: May 01, 2009, 02:10:13 AM »

Well, as I said, I haven't seen it and probably never will unless it's on the telly and I have nothing better to do. The story sounds uninteresting and above all I'm fed up with those monsters. Lordi was a good one-off joke that's been stretched far too long. They winning the Eurovision Song Contest was kinda fun but everything that followed has been disastrous. First of all people actually started caring about Eurovision again, which is highly absurd if you consider that a band in monster costumes can win it, and now it's everywhere. Secondly, it made heavy metal the new Finnish folk music and that is beginning to have embarrassing dimensions. Now there's metal songs in tv-dinner ads - how lame is that!

And what's more, the movie cost 4,3 million euros and was a flop. Sounds like peanuts but here in Finland you could make two or three movies on that. So now the producers go "You saw what happened with Dark Floors, you can't make horror movies in Finland" and we get the same old kitchen sink dramas and romantic comedies for the next ten years. But there was actually another Finnish horror movie for 2008, A-J Annila's Sauna which I think I reviewed in the RTLMYS thread, and I think I gave it 7/10. It's worth checking out if you get the chance. It's more psychological, shall we say more Japanese style, with zero embarrassing monsters.

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« Reply #6 on: May 01, 2009, 11:29:10 AM »



And what's more, the movie cost 4,3 million euros and was a flop. Sounds like peanuts but here in Finland you could make two or three movies on that. So now the producers go "You saw what happened with Dark Floors, you can't make horror movies in Finland" and we get the same old kitchen sink dramas and romantic comedies for the next ten years. But there was actually another Finnish horror movie for 2008, A-J Annila's Sauna which I think I reviewed in the RTLMYS thread, and I think I gave it 7/10. It's worth checking out if you get the chance. It's more psychological, shall we say more Japanese style, with zero embarrassing monsters.

I would have to say Dark Floors is worth watching at least once, being that it is under 90 minutes long and there is some very good stuff in it. The biggest let down is just the stupid looking rubber monsters. It's the perfect example of what you don't see is much scarier than you do see.
I'll keep an eye out for Sauna.


P.S. 4.3 million? That would make it the most expensive horror movie (maybe even movie in general!) to come out of Finland I presume?

« Last Edit: May 01, 2009, 11:30:33 AM by The Firecracker » Logged



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« Reply #7 on: May 01, 2009, 12:25:06 PM »

P.S. 4.3 million? That would make it the most expensive horror movie (maybe even movie in general!) to come out of Finland I presume?
Yeah, it's among the most expensive Finnish films ever (though I don't know how much of the money actually came from Finland) and is defenitelly the most expensive horror film. But then again, you can count Finnish horror movies (that have seen a theatrical release) on your fingers...

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